As much as it killed her, she kept her mouth shut. ” The official frowned. It seemed to her the last desperate attack upon the universe that would not let her live as she desired to live, that penned her in and controlled her and directed her and disapproved of her, the same invincible wrappering, the same leaden tyranny of a universe that she had vowed to overcome after that memorable conflict with her father at Morningside Park. But all normal humans smelled wonderful to her, even dirty ones. "It's a mysterious transaction altogether. Could you just let me in? I have a surprise for him. With what airs we human atoms invest ourselves! What ridiculous fancies of our importance! We believe we have destinies, when we have only destinations: that we are something immortal, when each of us is in truth only the repository of a dream. Will you come sensibly, or shall I carry you? You are mine!" Ruth's peculiar education had not vitiated the primitive senses; they were always on guard; and in a moment such as this they rushed instantly to the surface. “It is a secret mission,” she declared. If it was not an actual personal lover, it still might be the lover not yet incarnate, not yet perhaps suspected. I’m glad I did. At any rate he made it very clear that night that there was an ineradicable discord in life, a jarring something that must shatter all her dreams of a way of living for women that would enable them to be free and spacious and friendly with men, and that was the passionate predisposition of men to believe that the love of women can be earned and won and controlled and compelled. ’ ‘She is no longer a mystery,’ Gerald said.
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